Extreme sports

What’s an extreme sport? Let us turn to Wikipedia, the source of all authority, for answers:

“Extreme sport (also called action sport and adventure sport) is a media term for certain activities perceived as having a high level of inherent danger. These actives often involve speed, height, high level of physical exertion, high specialized gear or spectacular stunts.” Extreme sport

Well, it’s a media term. Blogs are media, so I guess bloggers can define new activities as “extreme sport” as long as they basically comply with the basic requirements for “perceived as high level of inherent danger” and “spectacular stunts”. I’m not talking about Parkour, which I would not classify as an extreme sport. This is about a real extreme sport I like to engage in, as do a number of other people. I like to call it “extreme filking”. In extreme filking, the goal is to cause the audience physical pain with nothing more than your choice of lyrics/music combination.

Like all sports, there are different styles. There is the classic “it scans to Banned from Argo” (or other mutual-scansion discoveries). You can horrify any crowd of filkers by singing something to BFA. Next, there is the “horrible pun” school. Extra points if the pun is the entire point of the build-up of the song, and is surprising enough to smack the audience in the head. Next, we have the true classic, the “haha, watch me do evil things to this song.” Here it is especially important that the song be good, and beloved by filkers. Classics, and oses, are especially good candidates. Extra points if you do it to the face of the original artist, watching his expression and coloring change throughout the song.

Let’s check the definition.

Spectacular stunts? Well, you need to do some pretty nifty things to accomplish extreme filking. Rhymes, scansion and puns are all basic utilities which need to be weaved into one holistic horrifying song.

Perceived degrees of danger? Well, only if you count singing an entire song while a heavy song book hovers inches from your skull. Or having things thrown at you, and needing to dodge while keeping rhythm.

Extreme filking. Coming soon to a sports channel near you. Because after you’ve covered spelling bees, my God, what will they stop at next?

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